Lifetime Achievements

If life had achievements, I would have just gotten the 6.0 Earthquake badge.

Many video games these days contain things call "achievements" which award points and/or unlockable features for completing specific challenges. These can include beating a particular level, defeating other people in a multiplayer game under specific circumstances, or just doing something crazy.

The point of these achievements is simple: to provide replayability and to bring out our inner, obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Gotta get 'em all!

I think we could use these for regular life. We need a system that will display to others in an instant all of the coolest things that we have done or have happened to us.

For instance, I would already have one of these for being in an earthquake greater than 6.0 on the Richter Scale.

Also, I think by getting this Badge I should also be able to unlock some sort of new attack. Perhaps the "Atlas Uppercut" or the "Seismic Shockwave".

So far, I've been able to think of a few other badges that would be worth pursuing and made some quick renditions.

The Pheidippides: Twenty-Six for running a marathon without vomiting.

The Globe Trotter for visiting every continent, even the not so nice ones.

The Space Farer for breaking free from the ever constricting, vile clutches of this blasted rock.

The Philosopher King for creating a Utopian society through mostly nonviolent methods.

And of course the Everyman's Dream.

I'm open to suggestions.

JetSetArnett Out.

And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then

Supikingu Tesuto

Last week I spent a day administering a Speaking Test to allll the first years (7th graders) at one of my Junior Highs. Because this is the first year that they're having formal English education, the test itself was extremely basic. I simply asked each student 5 questions and graded their responses for each on a scale of 1 to 5.

Behold the dreaded test of doom!

1. Is this a pen? (and upon asking I held aloft the mighty ballpoint)
Ideal response: "Yes, it is." You'd be amazing at the number of incorrect variations students can come up with for this, but like I said, they started less than a year ago; so I wouldn't dare fault them.

2. Are you from America?
Response: "No, I'm not. I'm from Japan." Often the children would switch to "No, it's not. It's from Japan." I thought it a tad odd that they would call themselves an "it" but I suppose it's technically correct if you throw out the intent of the language and stick to the rules. Is using "it" to refer to a person technically incorrect or only impolite? I was under the impression that it was the latter, but it could be wrong.

3. Do you play Golf?
Response: "No, I don't. I play (insert sport)." I found it interesting that many students would answer with whatever extracurricular activity with which they were involved. Piano, percussion, and "I don'to pray sporto" were among them.

4. Do you come to school by bus?
Response: "No, I walk/come to school by bike." No one rides the bus. Not a single child. In fact, I've never even seen a school bus in this country; I don't think they have them. There are local Junior Highs and Elementary schools so everyone just walks or bikes to the closest one. Makes perfect sense.

5. What's this/that? (I would then point to a desk, chair, or window.)
Response: "It's a desk/et cetera." This one I kept extra easy to give them some filler points. Honestly, I much prefer to give high scores than low ones. Frankly, I'm not sure what kind of monster wouldn't want to give good grades to a kid. Then again, maybe American kids aren't as adorable.

Speaking of good grades, there's a half-American girl in one of my classes. This isn't too terribly odd since Misawa has the airbase and all, but it certainly makes for interesting testing procedures.

Obviously, the questions that I had to ask were very simplistic as the students are just learning, and so it makes sense for them. But when I asked her the same ones, it just felt very silly (which would be really tough for the kids to say).

Indeed, near the end I began to laugh a bit at the audacity of the situation. Here I am, asking a girl with better English than many of the English teachers if the thing I'm holding is a pen. The best student otherwise would have gotten out a clear but warped, "Yesu, ito isu." Whereas she answers in an almost "accentless" accent as though she had just moved from Anytown, USA.

Needless to say, she got a perfect score.

JetSetArnett Out.

Universally speaking, I win in the long run

Digital Representation

For many in my generation, a big part of each person's life is their online, digital representation. Often, this means their Myspace page or their Facebook profile. As a group, we tend to see the online world as a very real extension of the physical world, one in which we create avatars to represent ourselves.

Some people use this opportunity to create personas of who they would like to be, while others attempt to accurately convey themselves as individuals. Still others refuse to participate or will only fill in the absolutely required fields and list their interests as "I'm not words on a screen" or something else which rejects the digital medium.

Of those, I tend to fall into the "realistic portrayal" group but with a sarcastic slant. For instance, until recently, my entire profile on Facebook consisted of every single entry from Stuff White People Like sorted and organized into appropriate categories. Thus my activities included yoga, knowing what's best for poor people, and being the only white person around. Likewise, my interests listed vintage, irony, and the idea of Soccer among others.

However, there is a new group of people coming to Japan, and new acquaintances might become confused/offended by my lists; so I decided to change them yet again to another pseudo-accurate representation of myself. A previous edition of my profile had a rather lengthy list of favorite music and movies which I tried to make accurate and all encompassing. However, now I realize such a thing is folly (i.e. no one cares that much), and I have instead opted for a streamlined approach which only glances over that which is important to me without dwelling excessively. Indeed, my favorite movies have been abbreviated to "A lot". I do this less to represent myself, and more to give viewers of my profile a brief glance so that if they happen to hate my taste in music, then they can quickly write me off as a person. A kind of social efficiency, if you will.

Also, I've noticed that people's quotes tend to be important to them. For a time, I had some very carefully selected quotes which I'm sure no one ever read. So this time I have only two:

So, this is where I put in quotes either from famous people I admire, famous people who have said something funny, famous people I quote ironically, movies, or friends who say crazy things. This is a quote by the way: a quote of my inner monologue while I write this.
- Me

The second is a quote of the "Milkshake" scene from There Will Be Blood. No particular reason, I just like that scene. It's an interesting juxtaposition to equate the ever important resource of oil with something so trivial as a milkshake.

JetSetArnett Out.

Damn right, it's better than yours

Return to Oz

Was a freaky movie.

Anyway, I went back to the States recently for a wedding in Tennessee, which I have always found difficult to spell. It was a splendid trip and worth every molecule of CO₂ I released into the atmosphere.

After the wedding, which was phenomenal, I went to Hershey, PA to visit with my sister and see a Dave Matthews Band concert. During which, David held aloft a can of Hershey's Syrup to the crowd and uttered these irrefutable words of wisdom:

Now the can is destined for extinction. Don't let the can of Hershey's Syrup go the way of the dodo bird and the dinosaur. Next time you go to the store-I know it's gonna be more messy... but f*** it. Get yourself a can of Hershey's Syrup.

Truer words have never been spoken.

So, I was back in the States for a little over two weeks, and it was fundamentally different from when I went home for New Years. First, this recent trip was really wonderful: I was able to see many friends and family and spend a lot of time with them, I had a fabulous time at the concert in PA, and of course the wedding alone would have made the entire trip worthwhile. I really can't say enough about how great it was to spend time with the lucky couple, my two best friends from university.

However, when I compare that trip with the one I had taken previously; well, frankly, there is no comparison. The latter was just a colossal waste of time and money. I would recommend to any incoming JET that they do not go home unless there is something that truly warrants 26-30 hours of travel and a large drain on your bank account.

Also, because this past trip was so good, it left me with a very different feeling when I returned to Japan. Essentially, it made me remember what was so good about being in America, which I will quickly list because people love lists.

1. I can talk to anyone. In Japan, I have to seek out people to talk to because I don't speak Japanese. Hence, I only have about 150 people with whom I could potentially carry on an actual conversation. These would be nearby JETs and people my age from the military base. Sometimes I forget that in America I can literally strike up a conversation with anyone and how much fun it can be to do so.

2. Reasonable speed limits. I don't drive in Japan much (I'll be getting a car this month), but I still know what it's like to go throughout the prefecture at the break-neck speed of 40 KPH which is about 25 MPH. Seriously. The highest speed limit I've seen is maybe 70 KPH on a toll road which is just over 40 MPH. It's really quite pathetic.

3. Highways. That toll road I mentioned above is only two lanes. Total. No passing. Also, it costs about 10 bucks to take. Maybe in the south, near the bigger cities, they have proper roads, but not all the way up here, and just to drive to Tokyo it would cost over $100 in tolls one way. Heck, even in WV we have an amazing road system. You're not that big, Japan. I'm disappointed in you.

Wow, you're so little; how did you get so many people inside you?

Well, because your trains are so amazing, I'll let the highway thing slide, Japan. This time.

And finally:

4. My friends are there. Not to say that I'm not fond of my friends in Japan, but there are a few select people that I will interact with regularly for the rest of my life, and hanging out with them again reminded me of why they are in that select group.

I'll be back one day... just not yet.

JetSetArnett Out.

So much to say

Travel Delay

Just got back into Japan last night, and I should be back on track with the blogging and whatnot next week.

JetSetArnett Out.

Watching all the reds and oranges slip away