Lifetime Achievements

If life had achievements, I would have just gotten the 6.0 Earthquake badge.

Many video games these days contain things call "achievements" which award points and/or unlockable features for completing specific challenges. These can include beating a particular level, defeating other people in a multiplayer game under specific circumstances, or just doing something crazy.

The point of these achievements is simple: to provide replayability and to bring out our inner, obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Gotta get 'em all!

I think we could use these for regular life. We need a system that will display to others in an instant all of the coolest things that we have done or have happened to us.

For instance, I would already have one of these for being in an earthquake greater than 6.0 on the Richter Scale.

Also, I think by getting this Badge I should also be able to unlock some sort of new attack. Perhaps the "Atlas Uppercut" or the "Seismic Shockwave".

So far, I've been able to think of a few other badges that would be worth pursuing and made some quick renditions.

The Pheidippides: Twenty-Six for running a marathon without vomiting.

The Globe Trotter for visiting every continent, even the not so nice ones.

The Space Farer for breaking free from the ever constricting, vile clutches of this blasted rock.

The Philosopher King for creating a Utopian society through mostly nonviolent methods.

And of course the Everyman's Dream.

I'm open to suggestions.

JetSetArnett Out.

And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then